As I write this review it is Valentine’s day – a day where
the people who see themselves as the “Forever-Alone Crowd” will be curling up
under an afghan with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s to watch The Notebook for the
thousandth time, or will be hanging with other relationally-challenged guys to
watch a Die Hard marathon. It’s
the day for singles to circle the wagons around their hearts and attempt to
ignore the hearts and flowers.
It’s also a day where those who have embraced matrimony will
either surprise each other with tokens of affection, or disregard the day
entirely.
It is a day where love is either expressed with giddy
anticipation or ignored with feigned apathy.
Overall, love is looked at as something that just
“happens”. It may last a lifetime,
or it could fade. It’s an emotion
that we just don’t have any control over.
If you fall into any of the categories above, and you’re
feeling that love is just too fickle to trust, take heart. According to relationship expert Joe
Beam, there is a path to follow to fall in love – a path where you have
complete control over each step you take.
In his recent book, The Art of Falling In Love: 4 Steps to
Falling In Love, Staying in Love, Renewing Lost Love, Beam looks at the process
of falling in love, demystifying it without making it seem clinical.
The Art of Falling in Love guides us on a journey down the
“LovePath”- a relational road that takes a couple from attraction to acceptance,
to attachment, and finally to the deep abiding love of aspiration.
Beam’s contention is that we all, at some point in our
lives, head down the path, but how we proceed down that passage is our
decision. It does not have to be a
journey that is arbitrary and out of our control. It is a quest for true, abiding love that is gained by
intentional and determined choices to love.
Beam’s use of the visual image of a path is helpful in
charting your own personal journey.
It was useful to see where I was on the love path, and the book aided me
in knowing what I needed to do to proceed to a higher level of committed love,
or what some potential potholes were in the way, that might derail my travels
down the path.
The Art of Falling in Love seems to be primarily written for
married couples who may find themselves careening wildly off the path or waking
up to the realization that somewhere along the way, they had taken a U-turn and
are falling out of love.
The book gives every person struggling in a seemingly doomed
relationship real hope. The fact
that the author, himself discovered the validity of this path after his own
divorce from his wife, gives the book authenticity. Wherever we are in our relationship – he’s been there
too. Considering he and his wife
Alice remarried and are enjoying a relationship that is stronger than ever,
certainly makes Joe Beam the poster child for the LovePath and The Art of
Falling In Love.
So if you’ve been married for what seems forever, or
contemplating heading into a relationship equipped to do this love thing right,
buckle up and settle in for a ride down a path that will change how you love.
A free copy of The Art of Falling In Love was obtained from
Howard Books in exchange for an honest review.
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